Is It Selfish To Put Yourself First

Nowadays I try to always put myself first. But sometimes the old me sneaks through. 

You might be familiar with the version. I was a top-notch people pleaser, always there to make everyone happy, and to always make sure to avoid all confrontations. I would change into the type of person I thought the person I was with wanted me to be. I always made sure everyone around me was comfortable and happy. Does this sound familiar to you? Are you or have you been in the past a people pleaser?

This was a survival technique I learned from having to avoid the abusive behavior I experienced for most of my life. I lived like this for over 20 years but even after I removed myself from the situation it was such a habit, being in survival mode, that it took me a few more years to break free. 

What happens to a person who does everything to please others, always takes care of others, and puts herself last?

They lose...

To all the ladies who feel stuck,

In my last post, I talked about the first step to take to get unstuck and I shared you need to know what you want and you need to think big. 

This is the best way to start because you can't get to where you want to be unless you kinda know where you're going, right?

Another point I want to talk about is that change will not happen unless you reach that point, The Breaking Point, because we won't really be motivated to change unless we are so uncomfortable that it's more uncomfortable than the fear of making the changes. 

Our brains are built to keep us alive, not happy. So it's pretty uncomfortable for us as human beings to make these changes. 

So how do you know you're at that point? Well just like I said above. It's more uncomfortable to stay where you are. 

Some of the things I hear from women and have felt myself at one point are:

• You feel lost and have no idea who you are anymore.
• You're tired of filling everyone...

We all know that we need to allow ourselves to rest in order to put our best version of ourselves into the world but very few of us actually do this.

This is just one of the pressures we put on ourselves, to do, do, do, and then do more. 

We also don’t allow ourselves any time to feel the negative feelings that are just a part of life. 

You see there is this pressure to always be positive, to raise our vibration, to be a bright ray of sunshine in order to attract this same energy into our lives. 

The truth is, it’s not just okay for you to be not okay, but it’s also necessary to be not okay in order for us to process these feelings.

If we mask these feelings, if we push them down and try to hold them there. They will resurface, they are still there, and you can’t positive mantra the shit out of them. 

There is a saying that Wayne Dyer said and I’m sure I’ll screw it up a bit, but here...

What’s on the other side of your comfort zone? Magic, that's what!

So today is the spring equinox & a new moon in march of 2023. If you reading this at another time, don’t stop here because this message is a powerful message at any time.

I just think right now it's supercharged so it would be a shame not to take advantage of that.

We all know that when we step out of our comfort zone there is always magic on the other side. Even when it doesn't turn out the way we want, it always helps us grow. 

Some of us also know that when we look at what we fear doing, it's almost always the one thing we need to do.

Except for skydiving, that's a hard no for me. All I visualize with that is me vomiting and passing out mid-air which it not growth. 

Being in our comfort zone can be good sometimes. In times to celebrate and relish in our successes.

But don’t stay there too long. Only because we can't really grow there and it's human nature...

This is a statement I think we all have heard at one time or another. What does it mean though and how do we achieve this?

I think the first thing to bring to our awareness is that fear isn’t bad. It’s meant to protect us from danger. The problem is that it’s trying to protect us from things that are not dangerous and we have to be able to not only determine that but then step through it. 

If we listened to fear every time I think we would all be curled up in the fetal position not experiencing anything in our lives. Kinda like being managed by an extreme helicopter parent.

We need to be mindful of the message asking ourselves, is this really truly something that might hurt me or is it just taking me out of my comfort zone?

To me, it can feel like excitement and I like to define it this way. We all know when we leave our comfort zone, amazing things happen, and we grow and learn and have new experiences. Overall good, right? Even if...

Hello Beautiful,

It's not really about NOT being productive. It's more about not being defined by whether your productive "WORTHY" person as defined by society.

I think we're all getting sick of this definition.

I love being productive, as long as I'm being productive in the things I want to do, things I want to spend my time doing.

I want to be doing things that give me purpose and help myself and others. 

Listen to the podcast version of this blog post HERE.

Today is about learning to check in with yourself a couple of times a day and allowing yourself to stop your production line, or as I like to say, hop off of the hamster wheel.

When you get so busy doing, you fail to check in with yourself to see how you're feeling. If you feel like your soul has been sucked from your body, then heads up, it has, and this is your wake-up call to make some changes.

Now, I know, most of you will say, we have to work, and I have to pay my bills.

This is true, and I understand this as much as...

Why Self-Care Is NOT Selfish

One of the things that I see day after day in my life and business is professional, driven women who feel guilty giving themselves any self-care at all even at substandard levels.

I believe this stems from the way the majority of us are raised from birth to always care for and make someone else happy before ourselves. We are expected to take the role of caregiver even if we work full-time, and or have a business. Not to mention, we are sometimes expected to take the brunt of the household chores as well. 

This my friend is a heavy load to take on and is NOT sustainable without repercussions on our health. 

The big part of the problem is convincing these amazing, smart, capable, and powerful women that they need to practice self-care daily and it is NOT selfish. 

They need to go against society's unreasonable and might I say bullshit expectations of us to do everything, be everything, and look good doing it. 

They need to...

How Can I do More In Less Time(Without The Overwhelm)

It’s what a lot of people want, I know I do.

I’m always looking for ways to be more intentional about my time because I know it’s my most precious resource. 

I don’t want to waste time on things I don’t really love doing. I want to do the things I love, the things that make me feel like I’m in flow.

Today I’m going to share with you some of the things that have worked for me and my clients when it comes to what I call “Time Expansion”, creating more time and space for the things you love and getting more done in less time!

 Want to listen to the podcast version of this blog? Head Over >>HERE<< 

Know what’s important - You can’t really be intentional with your time unless you know what’s important to you. We spend a lot of time in autopilot, going through the motions. We sometimes aren’t even paying attention to the...

I’ve been getting this question a lot lately and I’m always struggling to do this myself so I thought it would be a great topic to talk about today.

Why is it so hard to keep yourself in the present moment?

If you're living in the past you're reliving old things that happened and this can show up as depression. When you're living in the future you're worrying and anxious about what’s to be, and this can show up as anxiety. You worry about something that hasn't happened yet. This is where I spend a lot of my time.

Being in the present moment is the only place where you can have peace and feel happy. 

This is where your happy spot is. 

You have complete control of how you want to respond to your present moment. You get to decide to just be happy. 

The past is done and doesn’t exist anymore. Leave it there. 

Your future has yet to be determined. 

You can have a powerful effect on your future by how you decide to feel and be in your...

Get Unstuck Series - Finding Your “WHY” And Why It’s Important

Continuing on with the Get Unstuck Series I want to add to the creation of your big dreams and goals.

You see I believe that you can have greater success and also faster success by really digging deep and learning what your “WHY” is.

 Listen to the podcast version of this blog post >>HERE<< 

So what is your “WHY”?

Your “WHY” is the reason this big goal or dream is important to you. 

When you set a big dream or goal that might seem hard, heck, it might seem impossible, you need to know why it’s important to you in order to stay in it for the long haul.

You see, sometimes you need to take many small steps to reach a big goal and it can get hard sometimes, challenging, and you may even have some setbacks.

You can sometimes get to a point where you feel defeated, almost like you’ll never get there.

This is where your...